Never feeling healed enough to take the next step? Lacking results?

Where’s home? Ever asked yourself that question? So did I. More than once. Recently I returned from a two-month stay in Southeast Asia. While it initially took me some time to adjust to the new environment, you kind of get used to the new culture, different ways of being, and their daily life. When I came back to what I refer to as my hometown, as in my "birthplace" where I grew up, it felt random. Yes, there was a sense of home of course. It felt familiar. And yet, you realize you’re not the old version of yourself. That can feel stressing. And there are two major possibilities that often happen. You either fall into the old traps or you feel like you need to move again or at least change something. You feel you can’t continue your life the way you did before you left it. This is mainly because you’re not the same version of yourself, you often feel the need of adjusting on the outside. What I realized in particular was how old clothes or even furniture no longer aligned. But it didn’t feel like a happy moment. Letting go of old versions of yourself feels like dying. You leave some old part of you behind. And while that moment can be disturbing or even challenging, you see how it has to happen. It’s part of life. You need to make room for the new. The only constant is change. I personally find this is an ongoing process. Not a one-time event. We undergo continuous changes, and with certain changes, the past cannot accompany us. In fact it binds us. It keeps us trapped in a way. Therefore, I have discovered that the only effective approach is to embrace the sadness. Allow the grief. Grieving old versions of ourselves can be a real thing. I remember when I was a young kid and I grieved that I outgrew my favorite trousers. It felt heartbreaking. And after you allow that sadness and give honor to your path and all your past selves that led you to where you are today, you come to a point where you find gratitude and a new lightness. Even if the path is not yet clear. Even if you have no idea where to head next, you know most likely you can’t continue the same way you always have. It just no longer feels aligned. I feel it doesn’t only happen in our individual lives but collectively too. Cultures and towns are changing, which requires adjustment. There’s a different time and different opportunities, but the old is gone. You can feel it in the air as if the ancestors' spirits echo. So after living or spending time abroad, you suddenly ask yourself, "Where's home?” When you move abroad, you're a foreigner in that new country. But after a longer stay abroad, you now even feel like a stranger in your home country. As much as many of us like travelling and spending time abroad, there can come a time you feel like settling down. But for people traveling and exploring the world, this can be frightening. Not because of staying in one particular place, but rather, to be confronted with the question: where is my home now ? I believe there’s not a right or wrong way when it comes to settling down or thinking about it. There’s only the way that works for you. And as with all in life, you sometimes have to try what works for you in particular. That can be different for each single one of us. What I’ve found for myself is this. Home is in the heart When you feel good with yourself, no matter where you go, you carry that warmth. You know how to be comfy even if your body temporarily feels uncomfy in the new environment. In the moment I wonder, "Where's my home?" without having a direct answer. I center within myself. I ground myself even deeper. Feeling the energy of a place Secondly, what I feel makes you come closer to the answer to that question is to perceive the energy of a place. Places carry energy too. That’s why some places feel light and others feel heavy. Some feel inspirational; others feel dull. So the atmosphere of an apartment can have a great impact on how you feel. Engage with the surrounding Thirdly, home is what you make out of it. It’s the people that make a place special. If you engage in life, initiate something, or open yourself up, your home takes on a new meaning. Stay where it feels good right now, it doesn't have to be forever Fourthly, it’s good to embrace a place as your home without feeling this has to be your forever place. This takes out the pressure. There can be such pressure of making the right or wrong decisions. Sometimes we’re pulled towards places, and they’re exactly where we need to be or what can teach us valuable lessons. Let your heart choose where it takes you next In times of social media and AI, there’s an increasing amount of loneliness arising. People mingle less. They meet less. There’s less art. While AI can have a lot of benefits for making our lives easier, it’s important not to lose our connection to ourselves. Not to lose the creativity. This is what shapes us. It’s not Alexa answering questions; it’s asking our heart the question: what feels good next? The more heart-aligned we are, the more we feel drawn to places, activities, and people that can give us a sense of belonging. Remind yourself you're a temporary visitor Yet, "Where's home?” sometimes remains almost a mystical question. Because on a deeper level, we’re here on Planet Earth temporarily. It’s not our true home. Some souls originate from other star systems or, in the end, from the ether. The nonphysical. That’s why on some days when I feel confused and ask myself, "Where's home?” I remind myself it’s deep in my heart. I’m reminded that I’m a temporary visitor, and instead of being sad or going into over-doubt, I try to remind myself to make the most out of the moment as long as I’m here. Planet Earth is my temporary home now. There’s something beautiful dissolving underneath. The attachment to a specific culture, identity, or place. You realize you’re neither this nor that. On a larger scale this helps you detach a little more from the strong human role and connect a little more to the soul that isn’t bound to a specific place or identity. Allow yourself to experience different versions of yourself Lastly, I remind myself of why I’m here. To experience different versions and identities of myself. I came here for the experience. And so I don’t have to stay the same all my life. It’s ok to let go of past versions. Even if sometimes it feels easier, sometimes it feels more hurtful. I always imagine how trees go through the same dying process each autumn. They drop their leaves. It made me become aware of how nature is so used to the dying process and letting go of the old. Only we humans sometimes hold on to so many things: old memories, old identities, old structures. Imagine nature would resist change the way a lot of humans do; we wouldn’t even have food. Focus on being more, not just doing more Being home reminds me to focus on being more instead of doing more. What people used to call “fear of missing out," referring to a phenomenon to engage in the latest trend, now has slowly turned into an emerging concept of “the joy of missing out." The question of being home reminds us it’s not always about exciting highs and moments that fill you with immense adrenaline; it can be a calm evening at home filled with nice music and candles knowing you're exactly at the right time at the right place. So if you’re currently also going through a period where you ask yourself, "Where's home?” Allow yourself to access deeper layers of yourself. While the grieving and dying process can be hurtful, most likely this process brings you to new realizations or a shift in the way you do, think, and perceive things. Every time I feel off in a place, I make myself become aware that it’s a perfect moment to anchor deeper. To connect a little deeper to my soul instead of my human identity. One day, this whole life fades in the blink of an eye, and all there is is the memory. So let’s fill it with rich experiences and memories and appreciate that each year has its memories. Did you ever experience déjà vu in another country? Like you felt you had been there before? That’s not random. There can be past life connections. I share more about how traveling made me remember my past lives in various countries. And that can contribute to the fact that you may feel so inspirational in some countries and so dull in other towns. Stay tuned.